Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redlandimg src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/474379265″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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[audio] Grape-Flavored Vodka Makes Vodka-Time More Fun
December 4, 2008 – 1:12 am
I’m Really Gonna Miss Systematically Destroying This Place
December 3, 2008 – 5:12 pm
Oh, America. Eight years went by so fast, didn’t they? I feel like I hardly got to know you and methodically undermine everything you once stood…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/473922657″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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San Diego Rally
December 3, 2008 – 5:12 pm
Our San Diego Rally starts Saturday. It will be fun to be back in San Diego this weekend for our Internet Marketing Seminar. It’s been a while since I have been back to my old home town. I won’t have much time to get around town this trip as we will be busy with iNetGlobal [...]
Adobe cuts 600 jobs
December 3, 2008 – 4:12 pm
Adobe added its name today to the list of companies warning of weaker sales and are therefor cutting jobs.
The global economic crisis significantly impacted our revenue during the fourth quarter, said Shantanu Narayen, president and chief executive officer of Adobe. We have taken action to reduce our operating costs and fine-tune the focus of our [...]
Recession Actually Started Last Year
December 3, 2008 – 3:12 pm
The National Bureau of Economic Research announced that we are in an economic recession that began in December of last year. What do iyou/i…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/473557470″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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Long-Standing Conflict Ends As Israel Returns Lawn Mower To Palestine
December 3, 2008 – 2:12 pm
JERUSALEMmdash;”Sure it belches smoke and has no grass-clipping bag but that’s not the pointmdash;if you borrow something you return it,” said diplomat Dr. Sayid Al-Habib.img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/473577569″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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Twenty Minutes Spent Making Tuna Fish Palatable
December 3, 2008 – 2:12 pm
PERRY, NYmdash;Local resident Gary Ingram, 28, spent more than a quarter of an hour transforming a wet, grayish pile of canned tuna fish into…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/473603554″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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Why Don’t They Make A Second ‘Godfather’ Movie?
December 3, 2008 – 2:12 pm
As a bona fide movie buff, it pains me to see the drivel that Hollywood churns out nowadays. Every week it’s another lamebrained action flick or…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/473577567″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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That Sinking Feeling | ZapRoot 065
December 3, 2008 – 4:12 am
The Maldives plan to buy a new homeland if global warming sinks their country. Honda unveils the FC Sport at the LA Auto Show. Go green for the holidays with our Holiday Gift Guide Part 1. ZapRoot Community Site RedGreenAndBlue - Maldives Gas 2.0 - Honda FC Sport FC Sport in LA Dynomighty [...]
Cancer Rate Declines For First Time
December 2, 2008 – 3:12 pm
For the first time since statistics on the disease have been tracked, the cancer rate in the United States has declined. What do iyou/i think?img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/472419674″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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Badwater
December 2, 2008 – 3:12 pm
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Sunrise - Death Valley California’s Badwater salt pan at the lowest point in North America. The drying of the salt causes these incredible geometric patters that go on forever.
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U.S. Economy Continues Campaigning For Barack Obama
December 2, 2008 – 2:12 pm
WASHINGTONmdash;Nearly a month after Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States, the nation’s economy is still going strong…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/472797796″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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T-Shirt Machine Gun To Change The Face Of Promotional Warfare
December 2, 2008 – 2:12 pm
LANGLEY, VAmdash;Engineers at the Fun Gun Air Cannon Co. announced Tuesday that initial field tests of the TG-71 Rapid-Fire T-shirt Delivery…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/472576841″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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[audio] Jesus Returns To Give Consumers Christmas Pep Talk
December 2, 2008 – 12:12 am
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redlandimg src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/472147141″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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[audio] Department Of Justice Adds Mounted Prosecutors
December 1, 2008 – 10:12 pm
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redlandimg src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/472147138″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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[video] NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts For Rigors Of An Interview With Larry King
December 1, 2008 – 8:12 pm
NASA instructors offer a firsthand look at the training astronauts endure before they can physically and mentally withstand an appearance on Larry King Live.img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/471969804″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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Junk E-Mail Falls By Two-Thirds
December 1, 2008 – 5:12 pm
The amount of spam sent and received dropped last week to 60 billion messages a daymdash;a decrease of 66 percentmdash;after a Web hosting company…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/471254385″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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The Old Hunting Shack
December 1, 2008 – 3:12 pm
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This is one of two hunting shacks I pass by every day to and from work. One morning I finally decided to stop and take a few shots. Enjoy.
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Department-Store Santa Told To Push Chinaware
December 1, 2008 – 2:12 pm
UTICA, NYmdash;Art Schultz, better known as the Senpike Mall’s Santa Claus, carried out the management-issued directive to push fine china…img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/471447124″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers
December 1, 2008 – 2:12 pm
FORTH WORTH, TXmdash;”Watching television at home cost me $250 dollars last night,” said Michael Peterson, one of many Americans forced to pay high airline costs.img src=”http://feeds.theonion.com/~r/theonion/daily/~4/471328818″ height=”1″ width=”1″/
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